It’ll Be Off


Rory Patters-off?

It appears this preseason’s dull as you like transfer saga is going to be Real Madrid’s lecherous pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo. Ramon Calderon has been stalking Ronaldo for some time, but has upped the ante this year, camping outside Ronaldo’s Wilmslow mansion, and spying on him when he uses the shower. Take it from someone who knows, Ramon, these tactics get you nowhere but the sex offenders’ register.

Manchester United, without a hint of irony given Sir Fergalot’s very public courting of Karim Benzema, issued a moody sounding statement yesterday saying that if Real Madrid din’t back off, they’d tell on them. This prompted Real Madrid to release a statement to the press claiming that they considered United a friendly club, and wouldn’t want to do anything against their wishes. Hahaha. Which, I think, is the boardroom level equivalent of holding your hands up in mock regret having scythed down your opponent.

But what the fuck has this got to do with anything? Well, my needy chums, I was merely musing over this whilst reading the Bradford Park Avenue forum and reading Bob Blackburn’s comments about our very own Rory Patterson.

There is, or should be, a code of conduct in football. An ethical guideline that stops clubs from behaving in the way that Real Madrid (and Manchester United) do when it comes to signing a player. If Ronaldo is under contract at Manchester United, then Real Madrid should know better than to issue public statements trying to attract the player. It’s crass, ignorant, and lacking in class. And while we’re about as far removed as you can get from Real Madrid, the rules should be the same. So why do I find Bob Blackburn, BPA’s chairman, posting on the unofficial BPA forum, saying he’s already done a deal with Rory Patterson for next season?

Posting as THE GENERAL (I mean, for fuck’s sake. Where do you start with that? If Andy Walsh ever posted on our forum – which he wont as it was rightly decided that it would be an inappropriate way for board members to converse with fans – I’d like to think he’d call himself ‘Brother Walsh’, ‘Comrade Walshy’, or perhaps ‘Your loyal and obedient servant’. Something dignified and humble anyway), Blackburn has said for some weeks that a deal for Rory, and for Curzon’s Mike Norton, has been struck for next season. Mike Norton, having previously turned down BPA’s vile advances, banjaxed Blackburn’s prediction by signing a new deal at Curzon Ashton last week, but Blackburn is unmoved, and recently offered odds of 100-1 that Patterson wouldn’t be playing in red next season.

I get the impression that Blackburn is a bit of an attention seeker. You have to be, I think, to be a football club chairman in his (large) mould. There was a remarkable quote when he took over at BPA saying that he had all the villas and yachts he could ever desire, but now he wanted to put something back in to the community by buying a football club. Posting on the fans’ message board as ‘THE GENERAL’ and changing the music the team run out to to ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ for their home match against us also screams “COO-EEE, OVER HERE! LOOK AT ME!” so there is a chance that Blackburn’s comments are tongue in cheek wummery. But that’s barely the point. As the owner/representative of a football club, Blackburn shouldn’t be making these comments in a public forum, true or otherwise. It’s showing an alarming lack of class, and an equally alarming lack of respect. And, if he does chose to make these comments, at least fucking spell them properly, and don’t use text speak. I mean, Jesus, how old is he?

Anyway. Bob Blackburn is a very rich and successful man. What he’s doing at BPA should, in part, be applauded. They were the best team FC United played last season and thoroughly deserved their championship win. But Blackburn needs to learn that there are some things money can’t buy: respect, class and dignity. And, hopefully, Rory Patterson.

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4 Comments so far
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I’m really hoping Rory realises that ”adulation’ comes before ‘avarice’ (well, it does in my book – the OED).

BPA or any other club even a few divisions above cannot give any EffSee players the sort of experience and support the MRE can. It must count for a lot.

Comment by Getty

I wouldn’t blame Rory for taking the BPA shilling. He’s got a young family to feed and that. I’ve read Angela’s Ashes. I know what it can be like.

But he lives and works in the MCR. Any extra money BPA can throw at him will be spent on travel. And given the extra time he’ll have to spend away from home, it’d make no sense to leave…

I hope.

But as I say, I reckon THE GENERAL (arf) is all mouth. We’ll see.

Comment by Taylor

Is THE GENERAL still taking bets? I fancy £20 on that.

Comment by Phoebe

So, any update?

Comment by kris




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