Filed under: News | Tags: Bob Blackburn, Carlos Roca, Jamie Tandy, Joey Barton, Rory Patterson, Tony Kempster
Trawling through the web for the best stories, because not everyone has as much spare time as I do.
Bradford Park Avenue’s latest signing, freshly recovered from a car accident in which he ruptured his spleen, is former Manchester city reserve Jamie Tandy. Tandy is most famous for being the player who had a cigar stubbed out in his eye by Joey Barton, though what wasn’t widely reported was that this was in retaliation to an attempt by Tandy to set fire to Barton’s fancy dress costume. This alone should be enough to ensure some sort of award or recognition for Tandy. From all of football’s governing bodies and several government departments.
It’s also worth reminding everyone that Joey Barton is currently serving a six month prison term for two attacks described by the judge as ‘cowardly and extremely violent’. Not because you’re likely to have forgotten, but because it’s just great fun to type out.
Still on the subject of Bradford Park Avenue, Bob ‘The General’ Blackburn has revealed how he turned down the chance to sign FC United new boy Carlos Roca. According to Blackburn, posting on BPA forum ‘Avenue Online’, Roca’s agent had been pestering the club for a month, but the management team had fears concerning Roca’s mental toughness. Blackburn suggested that Roca tended to go missing ‘when the going got tough, or when it rained’. The deafening roar of people coughing “bullshit!” could be heard coming from the direction of Manchester.
Tony Kempster, the only man in the country, and therefore the world, to fully understand the complicated machinations of the non league structure has revealed on his forum that he has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, and a secondary cancer on his liver. He is to undergo treatment shortly. Tony is a bone fide treasure, and I’m sure you’ll all join me in wishing him all the best.
Rory Patterson was interviewed about his recent transfer in the latest Non League Paper. For those interested, it can be read here. Thanks to Wilmslow Red from the forum for the scan and upload
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