It’ll Be Off


Bradley Howard
August 11, 2008, 11:57 am
Filed under: News | Tags: , ,

We’ve arrived, people. After three years of scratching around at the bottom of the pyramid, feeding off scraps that have fallen off the top tables and made their way down to us, we’ve got our first superstar.

Bradley Howard, who set out his stall early in life by seemingly inverting his name, made headlines last year by saving the people of Mancunia from a deranged sociopath in McDonalds. When he wasn’t acting as an agent for the people, he kept his secret identity from us by parading around with his shirt off as a male model. And yet despite being an above average looking, crime fighting super-hero, he still manged to find time to be our less cavalier than we’re used to left-back. Is there no end to this man’s talents?

Yesterday Bradley Howard hit the big time by appearing in the show biz pages of The People:

Corrie totty Michelle Keegan is secretly dating footballer Brad Howard.

Michelle, 21, The Street’s Tina McIntyre, and the FC United of Manchester star are said to have something “special” by pals.

Brad, 21, certainly had to display his ball control when they went shopping at Manchester’s Trafford Centre last week. He obviously needs his bumps felt keeping a girl like that under wraps.

Bumps felt? What the fuck does that mean? That whole last sentance is meaningless.

But anyway. As exciting it is having our first Star and WAG combo, let’s dwell briefly on the practicalities. Anyone who watches Corrie will know what a loose cannon David can be. If he’s not ruining his sister’s wedding by trying to kill himself, he’s pushing his Mam down the stairs (though who, in all honesty, can claim not to have wanted to do that to Gail at least once?). Is this really the sort of person ‘Brad’ wants to be making an enemy of? But then given Bradley’s crime fighting past, will David be stupid enough to try anything at all? This is surely to be the most exciting Corrie plot-line since Roy Cropper and his bats.

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