I’m dreading these preview things. I know the sum total of next to fuck all about most of the teams in this division, and yet here I am, putting myself in the firing line, showing myself up in front of a global audience of some. “There’s no glory in making yourself look ignorant, Taylor.” as my Physics teacher used to say to me, even some years after I’d left school. I disagreed then, and I disagree now.
So Cammell Laird then. What the devil do we know about them? They’re named after a famous ship yard. They have a picture of a camel on their badge. They lost 2-0 to Guiseley on the weekend. It’s not, truth be told, a lot to go on. But when has lack of knowledge this stopped man from having an opinion on anything, let alone football?
FC United Team News:
Margy is set to take Micah Bleau ‘out of the firing line’ after a nervous display against Matlock on Saturday. Adam Turner, who has recovered from an injury sustained whilst sleeping (seriously), is set to take over in central defense. Rob Nugent is still said to be three weeks or so away from full fitness. Midfielders Chris Baguley and David Neville are set to both start on the bench again, as they try and improve their fitness. Margy has hinted that Carlos Roca will start wide right, rather than the central role he started in on the weekend.
FC United – Matlock Town (H), drew 3-3
Cammell Laird – Guiseley (A), lost 0-2
‘It’ll Be Off’ Prediction:
United to win, 2-1
Did you know?
Cammell Laird’s name comes from the world famous Laird shipyards on Merseyside. It was there that Dr Livingstone’s boat for his Zambezi expedition, the Ma Roberts, was built.
Other famous Camels:
Joe Camel – This cigarette smoking, even toed ungulate made his name advertising Camel cigarettes. He first appeared in 1974, and smoked his way around the world’s billboards and magazine pages, before sadly passing away in 1987 from emphysema.
The Weeping Camel – As featured in the 2003 Mongolian documentary called, errr, ‘The Weeping Camel’. The camel in question was a rare white bactrian camel calf, abandoned by it’s mother. The camel of the title is merely a vehicle for directors Byambasuren Davaa and Luigi Falorni to get across the bigger picture, about a dramatically different way of life that’s all at once achingly romantic and brutally stark. Or, “This is fucking shit.” as the missus had it. “I’m choosing next time. And it’s going to have Jennifer Aniston in it.”
The Camel Toe – “Cameltoe is a slang term that refers to the outline of the female labia majora when seen through tight, form-fitting clothes.”
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