It’ll Be Off

captain marvel cheats death in amazing “bullet-like” brick incident
December 14, 2008, 11:15 pm
Filed under: News | Tags: , ,

Welcome once more, dear readers, to It’ll Be Off, where since our award nomination we have upscaled our operation, and now come from a glittering ivory tower, not dissimilar to Nottingham’s Chek Whyte Tower, or Dubai’s Steven Gerrard Tower. Yes, following Gerrard’s not at all offensive in the current climate decision to take a freebie penthouse from the tools who wanted to name their block of flats (you can fuck off with your ‘luxury apartment development’. I don’t remember my Grandma’s council tower ever getting called that) after him, I have decided to move upstairs, and type this post out on the next level of my shared maisonette.

Also, following an unsavoury incident that occured on Friday night, I have broken myhand and am unable to type properly. I have therefore decided to employ former Bradford Park Avenue manager Dave Cameron on minimum wage as my editorial assistant, and he’s highly thankful for the chance to return to gainful employment over the festive season. So yes, the award nomination has changed me – but for the better I feel.

But it’s not all good news. In a startling piece of journalism, The Mirror has revealed how popular former Manchester United captain, and unpopular former Sheffield United manager, Bryan Robson, cheated death in an amazing incident in South Africa.

What was described as a ‘brick’, or possibly it was a ‘rock’ (or hey, maybe a ‘stone’), was fired through Robbo’s car window after being thrown up from the road. According to the report it travelled “like a bullet” – bullet’s can travel up to 1500 m/s, just to give you an idea of how fast this brick/rock must have been going – and shattered Robbo’s windscreen. Of course, Robbo being Robbo, he climbed out of his seat and headed it away, leading to what friends described as ‘as egg shaped lump’ on his head. Though strangely, given the article’s propensity for exaggerated adjective, the type of egg was never made clear.

Still, all here at It’ll Be Off (well, me and Cammy anyway), wish Bryan a speedy recovery from his latest sensational injury.

And as it’s nearly Christmas, here’s a video of some Spanish fella saying how great Bryan Robson is.


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