It’ll Be Off

And where the fuck have you been?
November 10, 2009, 7:08 pm
Filed under: Opinion

There’s a theory put forward by comic book geeks that Superman reappears when America needs him most. He was created in the 30s, in the great depression, reemerged on tot he screen in the 50s in the time of the McCarthy communist witch hunts. Christopher Reeve brought him back to life in the years following Watergate, when trust of the Government was at an all time low. And finally Brandon Routh starred as The Man Of Steel a few years back, when everyone was sick to fucking death of George W Bush treating the world the way a one year old niece treats my telly remote control. With no respect, and little understanding.

So yeah. Rather than deal with their problems in a mature, proactive manner, Americans (according to people who think it’s acceptable to fill their bedroom with plastic toys of Ellen Ripley, Spider-Man and the Predator) tend to turn to a man who was most recently portrayed as a lycra-clad, super-powered stalker. But fuck it, hey? Everyone needs something to hold on to. An icon, a talisman, a figure of hope for a brighter future.

I’d like to think that person could be me. Even the briefest read of the forum suggests we are in for a hard slog of a season. “Make no mistake,” one mysterious, deep voice, doom-monger put it. “We’re in a relegation battle.”  And the glanciest glance of the league table shows he may have a point. Ignoring Durham, not because of their hopeless haplessness, but because I believe we’re nailed on to lose to them, and I don’t want any “IN YOR FACE, MAN!” style jeering from their remaining fan, we do appear to be towards the bottom of the table. And our recent form, LLDWL (coincidentally the name of the village the Boogie Bus stopped off at on the way to Colwyn Bay) doesn’t fill me with a ready brek glow.

But fuck it. We’re not in a relegation battle. We’re in November. Early November. And just a couple of weeks ago we were looking at going third if we won our games in hand. We’ve – we the team, and we the supporters – been sidetracked by a fun if diverting cup run. We’ve been playing twice a week on heavy pitches. And we’re suffering from the traditional FC United slow start. What makes it look so much worse is the bonkerscrazy nature of this league, where everyone (well, not exactly everyone) can beat anyone. So yeah, we’re four places off bottom. But win our games in hand, and we’re only three points off Ashton United, who we comfortably beat in the FA Trophy the other week.

Everyone needs to calm down, I think


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Great to have you back here!

Look what’s happened after all this time:

Who’d a thunk it eh?

Comment by CTT

Interpreting Chris Reeves’ Superman as a response to Watergate is stretching the metaphor tighter than Torpey’s thong.

Other than that I agree with what you are on about. And all that.

Comment by The Real Roxanne

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