It’ll Be Off


FC United 4-1 Hucknall Town
January 24, 2011, 12:18 am
Filed under: Match Report | Tags: , ,
Christ, what the hell has happened to him?

write a song about THAT, you round-faced twat.

I slept in and missed the train up to Manchester on Saturday, so I didn’t get to watch the shirts win their fourth on the bounce, and move up to the relative comfort of mid-table. Instead of standing behind a massive flag in the Manchester Road End, I listened to the game on FCUM Radio whilst eating a steak baguette and drinking Tyskie. If I had to miss the match, it wasn’t such a bad way to do it.

As a result of my commuting tardiness, I can give you even less of a match report than I usually do. Norton scored, so did Wright, Wolfenden, and Cottrell apparently. Sam Ashton didn’t, but he did concede one for the first time in three matches.

Our recent upturn in form has got many muttering about a prolonged unbeaten run and a place in the play-offs, which, at the moment, is so unlikely as to border on the fantastical. But who knows? Another win at Kendal on Tuesday night and the play-off bandwagon will pick up even more speed. Margy has long argued that we’re one of the better teams in this division, and we should be challenging for a top five place.

But would we want to go up? After an extensive cost benefit analysis, it seems that the main upside to promotion would be that we would become a playable team on the next Football Manager computer game, while the biggest negative would be having to play those dicks from Halifax again next term. Fuck that. I’m happy to hang around the NPL for a couple more years if that’s the reward.

Whilst throwing around the requisite Mick Hucknall jokes this week, it was pointed out to me that the pasty-faced, ginger crooner looks a lot like North Korean despot Kim Jong-il in drag. I now can’t remove the image of a silk kimono and wig wearing Dear Leader, shaft and conkers tucked back between his legs, dancing suggestively to Simply Red’s Greatest Hits in front of a mirror. It’s terrible. And probably justification for military intervention, even if it did lead to an escalation in hostilities that brought on some sort of nuclear Armageddon.

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