It’ll Be Off

News Round-Up
January 27, 2011, 1:14 am
Filed under: News | Tags: , , , , ,

Disgraced former Sky pundit, Andy Gray, has hit back angrily at suggestions that he is a vile, sexist, pig. “Bollocks!” spat Gray whilst leafing through a copy of Front magazine. “How can I be sexist? Some of my best shags have been women.”

Gray, who was paid a million fucking pounds a year to state the obvious and over hype Sky’s product, denied claims that he was in any way responsible for a boy’s club atmosphere on live football broadcasts. “There was that blonde lass, with great tits.” Gray countered. “She’ll tell you I’m not sexist. We spent a lot of time together, but I had to finish her as she was as shit in the kitchen as she was in the sack.”

Gray’s colleague, Richard Keys, resigned today amid fears further evidenced of his chauvinistic attitude towards women would be released. Speaking to a multi-award winning female journalist, Keys stated “Eh? What’s that poppet? Oh, milk and two please.” Before patting her on her bottom, and sending her away with a dismissive wave of his now hairless hand.

The removal of the duo has led to whinges from the sort of cunts who visit ‘True – The Home of Lad Banter’ about PC Brigades, and PC gone mad, and thought police, without really having any fucking clue what they’re on about.

On the subject of killjoys and the PC liberal brigade going health and safety mad due to their organic, vegetarian, Guardianista middle-class outlook on life, the board have politely requested dialogue between fans and club in a bid to stop the current trend for smoke bombs that have cost the club money, and led to fellow fans needing medical attention. How dare they? Isn’t this *exactly* why we left Old Trafford? Where will this stop? Before we know it the club will be seeking our opinion on other matters and asking approval before carrying out plans that we voted them in to decide for us. The fucking fascists. See here: for more.

Zak Hibbert has apparently left the club to play for Clitheroe. Hibbert had a run in the team at the start of the season, and was unlucky enough to play in a series of games where we folded like a pliable napkin. Not much blame can be lumped on to his shoulders for those defeats, but Sam’s form since returning between the sticks has been as such that Hibbert hasn’t had a look-in since. Also leaving is Glynn  Hurst, scorer of a hattrick in the 1966 World Cup final, who has retired to concentrate on his university studies.


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Keys and Gray. They have been royally shafted by the media in recent days and although I detest what was said, the hypocrisy of sky has been the only thing highlighted by the furore.

I am the first to admit that I’m guilty of the occasional sexist joke. ‘Bar room’ banter or whatever its called has its place in the male psyche and I doubt even the most stubborn of Liberal men would disagree. Defending Keys and Gray is risky business, especially in the current climate, but I must say that no matter how ‘Sexist’ the joke(s) were there is a inability to not take things so literally.

BskyB are the most guilty party in all of this. How often on Soccer Am do we see the ‘Soccerette’ scantily clad declaring their on the market to 70% of the male population who watch the show? To which the reply is normally equal to what can only be described as a Alpha Male Lion’s orgasm.

Karen Brady is something completely different. Everyone jumps to her defence after what was said by Keys “You here Karen Brady talking about feminism? Do me a favour love” I think was the statement. To which Mrs Brady took so personally she denied a telephone call from Keys himself to apologise. Now, isn’t this the same person who works for West Ham FC, who’s current owners are 2 of the most successful pornography businessmen in the UK?

The people who jump on the ‘Offended’ band wagon obviously do not understand that football is currently filled with same kind of blatant and outrageous sexism that Keys and Gray are found guilty for, in fact, completely worse.

I was listening to keys radio show in Mid-week (to be honest he did himself no favours) and heard it all. ‘Why should women be the only ones offeneded by this?”, “Keys and Gray should hang up their boots” etc etc. But before we point the finger of blame at the two presenters, shouldnt we look at football on a whole and see exactly what Keys and Gray have only highlighted? The buck doesn’t stop with Keys and Gray. If you really want to eradicate sexism from our game, lets get the first Female pundit on our screens SKY?

I think I already know the answer to that.

Comment by SandMan

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