Filed under: News | Tags: Andy Gray, Fascists, Glynn Hurst, Richard Keys, Smoke Bombs, Zak Hibbert
Disgraced former Sky pundit, Andy Gray, has hit back angrily at suggestions that he is a vile, sexist, pig. “Bollocks!” spat Gray whilst leafing through a copy of Front magazine. “How can I be sexist? Some of my best shags have been women.”
Gray, who was paid a million fucking pounds a year to state the obvious and over hype Sky’s product, denied claims that he was in any way responsible for a boy’s club atmosphere on live football broadcasts. “There was that blonde lass, with great tits.” Gray countered. “She’ll tell you I’m not sexist. We spent a lot of time together, but I had to finish her as she was as shit in the kitchen as she was in the sack.”
Gray’s colleague, Richard Keys, resigned today amid fears further evidenced of his chauvinistic attitude towards women would be released. Speaking to a multi-award winning female journalist, Keys stated “Eh? What’s that poppet? Oh, milk and two please.” Before patting her on her bottom, and sending her away with a dismissive wave of his now hairless hand.
The removal of the duo has led to whinges from the sort of cunts who visit ‘True Lad.com – The Home of Lad Banter’ about PC Brigades, and PC gone mad, and thought police, without really having any fucking clue what they’re on about.
On the subject of killjoys and the PC liberal brigade going health and safety mad due to their organic, vegetarian, Guardianista middle-class outlook on life, the board have politely requested dialogue between fans and club in a bid to stop the current trend for smoke bombs that have cost the club money, and led to fellow fans needing medical attention. How dare they? Isn’t this *exactly* why we left Old Trafford? Where will this stop? Before we know it the club will be seeking our opinion on other matters and asking approval before carrying out plans that we voted them in to decide for us. The fucking fascists. See here: http://fc-utd.co.uk/story.php?story_id=3376 for more.
Zak Hibbert has apparently left the club to play for Clitheroe. Hibbert had a run in the team at the start of the season, and was unlucky enough to play in a series of games where we folded like a pliable napkin. Not much blame can be lumped on to his shoulders for those defeats, but Sam’s form since returning between the sticks has been as such that Hibbert hasn’t had a look-in since. Also leaving is Glynn Hurst, scorer of a hattrick in the 1966 World Cup final, who has retired to concentrate on his university studies.
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