It’ll Be Off


FC United 4-2 Chasetown
February 16, 2011, 11:18 pm
Filed under: Match Report, News

Despite my best intentions to travel up tonight, I was scuppered by an over zealous Barclays personal banker, who deemed some recent transactions on my card as suspicious. That they decided jewellery, a dinner out, and groceries were so far out of the ordinary as to cause them to put a block on my card did everything to endear them to my girlfriend, and nothing to help me make the trek north to see us play Chasetown.

But fuck it. If it means we’ll win every game from now until the ens of the season, I’ll continue to stay away. Despite going down to ten men late in the first half, United rallied back from a goal deficit to see us leap up to eight in the table, a position so lofty we could be atop city’s old floodlights. Quite where we go from here depends on our result against Burscough on Saturday – another win and I’ll be all pissy knickered with excitement.

Michael Norton scored twice tonight, taking his tally to twenty for the season, a total one of our lot was so confident he wouldn’t make, he put money on it. I’ll take great pleasure in watching him pay out next time I see him, even if I’m not one of the lucky beneficiaries. Norton’s finishing and all round game has looked a lot sharper in recent weeks, and thanks to the increasingly brilliance of Matty Wolfenden’s play, he’s looking a lot less isolated up front. And even the loss of Chris Ovington, who has moved on to Buxton for more regular football, is offset by the news that Steve Torpey has returned to full training.

Elsewhere, Gennaro Gattuso shocked the footballing world by deeming it advisable to both throttle and headbutt officially the 34th hardest man in the history of football, Joe Jordan. Jordan barely blinked as Gattuso flopped his hirsute dial on him, yet had the roles been reversed the outcome would have surely seen Gattuso collapsing and drowning in a pool of his own blood and snot.

Claudio Pasqualin, Gattuso’s agent, came out today and said his client’s behaviour post match had been due to Jordan calling him a “fucking Italian bastard”. Now, here at It’ll Be Off we take a zero tolerance to both racism and xenophobia of all kinds, but as pointed out elsewhere, sometimes truth is its own defence. And for all you nostalgists out there, here’s two and a half minutes of Joe Jordan banging them in:

And finally, Crawley have continued to cash in on their cup fortune by drafting It’ll Be Off’s favourite newspaper in as a one-off shirt sponsor for the game. Not content with raking it in from prize and television money, as well as a 50-50 split of the Old Trafford gate, usual sponsors Alamo International have been shunted to the back of the shirt, to make way for The Sun’s logo. According to the Crawley Town website:

“Alamo International, as sponsors of Crawley Town FC have generously agreed that Alamo’s name will be moved from the front to the back of the special shirts being released for this special match. The Crawley Town team will wear these shirts for the Manchester United match, which will help enable Crawley Town FC to take advantage of this unique opportunity with the Sun newspaper.”

 It’s odd, you know. Usually there’d be a groundswell of goodwill for a non-league team going to play Manchester United at Old Trafford, but with every day that passes, more and more people are turning on to the fact that Crawley Town are a reprehensible bunch of shitheads. And we’ve not even heard owt from their gobshite manager, and convicted fraudster, Steve Evans yet. So that’s something to look forward to.

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1 Comment so far
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God, I love that Southampton kit in ways that are unbecoming.

The sky and dark blue one in the Joe Jordan video, that is.

Comment by Ian




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