It’ll Be Off


A Friend in need
September 20, 2008, 10:27 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

Ive warmed greatly to Boston United over the past few months. Having spent some of my youth in Lincolnshire, I had only ever previously seen Bostonians as hideously malformed, violent, freaks in pastel coloured Ben Sherman shirts, but since the advent of ‘the internet’ and Boston’s multiple relegation in to what they refer to as the ‘tin-pot snooker league’ I realise now that they aren’t at all violent.

Here at It’ll Be Off we extended the crooked claw of friendship to the quite wonderful IMPStalk fanzine, in the hope that one day I could rip off all their content and claim it as my own. And sure enough, that day came soon after the Pilgrims turned up to Gigg Lane and stole our three points. But let’s not dwell on that. Instead let’s concentrate on the marvellous match report Pete Brooksbank wrote for is, as well as the hilarious NPL Rough Guides that provided us all with literally minutes of entertainment.

Anyway, I recently received an email from one of the Boston lot asking for my help. After their striker Oli Ryan scored a hat-trick against the might of Glapwell in the FA Cup, he was nominated for E.ON Player of the Round. His prize, I’m informed, is a trip to the FA Cup final, and seeing as Boston aren’t expected to get past the semis, it would be a rare treat to send him to Wembley, so he can get buy an £8.50 meal deal, and get stuck outside the tube station for two hours after the game.

Unfortunately some Dartford fans aren’t entering in to the spirit of things. Their seventeen year old goalkeeper was also nominated for the award, despite conceding two goals. Some clever web hackers have worked out a way to cast multiple votes, and consequently, this fella is in the lead. This is bad for two reasons. Firstly, we can’t abide cheating. Secondly, he conceded two goals, and therefore didn’t perform as well as Oli Ryan (I don;t care how many goals he prevented, that isn’t the point).

Even ignoring the footballing aspect of all this, a victory for Dartford is a victory for nothingness. Dartford’s most famous claim to fame is a tunnel. A tunnel, I ask you. Why reward nothingness when Boston is the home of The Boston Stump – Britain’s most famous amputee, Cheers, and is widely reknowned as The Gateway to Skegness, where you can thank long shore drift beach erosion for the world’s longest beach, currently measuring over 6.3 miles from promenade to sea.

So please, do Oli Ryan, the Boston fans, and hell, myself a favour. Click on this link, and vote for their man.

Thanks for your time.

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5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

No hacking involved at all,hope you can prove this accusation.The United bikers of Australia and the British Army in Afghanistan are entitled to vote.We just have more support worldwide than Boston

Comment by John Hall

How can you possibly accuse a club or group of “web hackers” of doing such a thing. Members of our club actually emailed the FA to alert them of the problem some people had voting. I’m pretty sure none of our fans have the time to become web hackers and wherever you got that idea from, i do not know

Comment by Dan DFC

I’m pretty certain the Boston Stump isn’t an amputee either, but I’ve not had many emails pointing that out to me. Hey ho.

Comment by Taylor

does anyone remember gary edwards of fc reserves side he has suffured a spiral break to his fibia and will be unable to play football for the next two years thats providing his leg heals good enough to play again please pass on many thanks to those who have left a msg on the official fc site we are unable to get on the site Why? we do no know.

Comment by eddy

You truly show real ignorance with this article my friend. Look up the history books.

Comment by Tony Jaglo




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