Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Add new tag, Amputees, Boston United, Oli Ryan, Vote rigging
Ive warmed greatly to Boston United over the past few months. Having spent some of my youth in Lincolnshire, I had only ever previously seen Bostonians as hideously malformed, violent, freaks in pastel coloured Ben Sherman shirts, but since the advent of ‘the internet’ and Boston’s multiple relegation in to what they refer to as the ‘tin-pot snooker league’ I realise now that they aren’t at all violent.
Here at It’ll Be Off we extended the crooked claw of friendship to the quite wonderful IMPStalk fanzine, in the hope that one day I could rip off all their content and claim it as my own. And sure enough, that day came soon after the Pilgrims turned up to Gigg Lane and stole our three points. But let’s not dwell on that. Instead let’s concentrate on the marvellous match report Pete Brooksbank wrote for is, as well as the hilarious NPL Rough Guides that provided us all with literally minutes of entertainment.
Anyway, I recently received an email from one of the Boston lot asking for my help. After their striker Oli Ryan scored a hat-trick against the might of Glapwell in the FA Cup, he was nominated for E.ON Player of the Round. His prize, I’m informed, is a trip to the FA Cup final, and seeing as Boston aren’t expected to get past the semis, it would be a rare treat to send him to Wembley, so he can get buy an £8.50 meal deal, and get stuck outside the tube station for two hours after the game.
Unfortunately some Dartford fans aren’t entering in to the spirit of things. Their seventeen year old goalkeeper was also nominated for the award, despite conceding two goals. Some clever web hackers have worked out a way to cast multiple votes, and consequently, this fella is in the lead. This is bad for two reasons. Firstly, we can’t abide cheating. Secondly, he conceded two goals, and therefore didn’t perform as well as Oli Ryan (I don;t care how many goals he prevented, that isn’t the point).
Even ignoring the footballing aspect of all this, a victory for Dartford is a victory for nothingness. Dartford’s most famous claim to fame is a tunnel. A tunnel, I ask you. Why reward nothingness when Boston is the home of The Boston Stump – Britain’s most famous amputee, Cheers, and is widely reknowned as The Gateway to Skegness, where you can thank long shore drift beach erosion for the world’s longest beach, currently measuring over 6.3 miles from promenade to sea.
So please, do Oli Ryan, the Boston fans, and hell, myself a favour. Click on this link, and vote for their man.
Thanks for your time.
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