It’ll Be Off

Attila the stockbroker
September 25, 2008, 8:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

Brighton and Hove Albion supporting, punk poet Attila the Stockbroker left the following message on the forum this morning, causing a degree of excitement at I’ll Be Off towers that’s possibly not warranted:

2 gigs in the NW meant that last Saturday I cleverly avoided our home defeat to nine man Walsall (!) and finally made a long anticipated first visit to FC. Really impressed, everything I thought it would be and more. Fantastic atmosphere, brilliant banners, and the best bit of all was the song sung to the tune of ‘Anarchy in the UK’ (I’m DJ/stadium announcer at Brighton and during our darkest days in exile at Gillingham was officially banned from playing that by the Kent Constabulary….I put the Clash on instead) Couldn’t work out the words though!

Well done everyone involved in your brave, inspirational initiative. I’m sure you all know our history – we Brighton fans know exactly what it is to fight for the existence of our club after our ground was stolen from us by greedy moneymen, and you have loads of friends down here. You truly are what I’d love us to be – the English St Pauli, and that’s high praise indeed! If you ever want some loud rude leftie ranting poetry and songs at one of your fund raisers, you’re on….

I was going to post a message this week anyway, but I’m sure you know what’s coming next, and I’m sure you think it’s even funnier than we do! We stuffed the ‘richest club in the world’ fair and square last night (to the pre match strains of ‘Money Money Money’ ‘Hippy Hippy Sheikh’ ‘Take the Money and Run’ and ‘Rock the Casbah’) and it just goes to prove that all the money in the world can’t stop football still being the wonderful, unpredictable game we love. Some City fans were moaning they left out Robinho and some of the other ‘stars’. Well, our top scorer Nicky Forster was out as well. Stop whinging!!! A victory for real football. Just like FC United. Hope we get to play each other one day….and all the best.


If I needed an excuse to post one of his poems, I suppose this is it. ‘A Symptom Of Modern Society’ was inspired by cretinous former York City chairman John Batchelor who claimed that the demonstrations from angry York fans was “a symptom of modern society”.


It’s a symptom of modern society.
When our team’s getting stuffed, we complain!
When our history’s sold for developers’ gold
We protest again and again!

When we’re told we’re ‘half-wits’ who ‘make trouble
We get angry and filled with suspicion.
‘Cos behind talk like that there’s quite often a rat
Abusing a hallowed position….

We’re no longer just dumb cannon fodder.
We’re the fans, it’s our club, and we care.
We want participation, not patronisation!
Let us in – we’ll do more than our share.

Please don’t tell us to ‘mind our own business’.
It’s our ‘business’ as much as it’s yours!
We’ve been there since the start, we’re the lifeblood, the heart.
Ever played a match behind closed doors?

It’s a symptom of modern society.
We supporters have got off our knees!
It’s a symptom we’re going to encourage –
Until it becomes a disease!

You can read more of his poetry on his official website,


United boss it at Ossett
September 25, 2008, 8:14 am
Filed under: Match Report | Tags:

Four nil, then, and two more for Kyle Wilson, who continues to ease the pain of losing Rudd and Patterson by being consistently excellent and prodigiously prolific – he’s the league’s top scorer with ten goals. Carlos Roca finally opened his account, and with the defense looking far more stable since the introductions of Garner and Warrender, there are those suggesting in hushed tones that maybe, just maybe, a corner has been turned.

We’re sitting neatly in midtable, just three points behind BobBlackburn Park Avenue. All that money and only three points difference? Bob will be having spasms if that’s the state of affairs come the end of the season.

Doctor Gonzo’s Match Preview: Ossett Town v FC United
September 23, 2008, 5:08 am
Filed under: Preview | Tags: ,

9th league-game – season 2008/2009:

Ossett Town (18.) -v- FC United (17.)
(The Unibond League Premier Division)
Tuesday 23rd September 2008 at 19:45
Ingfield, Prospect Road, Ossett, W Yorkshire, WF5 9HA


The last 3 games

Ossett Town:
2:1W Nantwich Town
0:1L North Ferriby United
1:1D Witton Albion

9 games – 2W; 2D; 5L; -6GD; 8Pts
top scorer: A.Savory, T.Greaves – 3 goals

FC United:
0:0D Worksop Town
3:4L Prescot Cables
0:2L Bradford Park Avenue

8 games – 2W; 2D; 4L; -2GD; 8Pts

top scorer: K.Wilson – 8 goals

Bradley Howard: Model semi-pro
September 22, 2008, 2:24 pm
Filed under: News | Tags: ,

West Ham fans never forgave Paul Ince for posing in a Manchester United shirt while still a Hammer. I never forgave Paul Ince for the way he celebrated his equaliser for Liverpool against Manchester United in May 1999. Others will never forgive Paul Ince for taking Winkleman’s shilling and managing Franchise. Whatever. We’re all in agreement that he’s a bit of a twat.

But Bradley Howard, seemingly unfazed by the arrival of new left back Simon Garner, has gone out and had his pics snapped not just in a Chelsea shirt, but also a Chelsea hoody and a Chelsea tracksuit top.

Eagle-eyed reds at Stamford Bridge spotted our Brad modelling the latest Chelsea leisure wear in Sunday’s Chelsea v Manchester United programme. Which is odd, as Matty Taylor, who has left the club six or seven times since the shirt was released, is still modelling ours over on the mega-stall site.

Baguley Stays!
September 22, 2008, 2:01 pm
Filed under: Transfer tittle-tattle | Tags:

Once again at It’ll Be Off we pump furiously at the organ of truth, until nothing but fact is ejaculated on to your screen. From the official site:

To set the record straight, Chris Baguley has not gone anywhere.

Well, to be slightly more accurate he did go somewhere, because knowing he was suspended for the Nantwich Town FA Cup replay game last Wednesday, he took a last minute holiday abroad last week.

He had the good grace to come in on Saturday to apologise to Karl Marginson for missing training, but wasn’t available in time for the team photo, which seems to have sent the rumour mill into overdrive. Chris has assured the manager that he wants to stay and regain his place in the team.

Karl said: “Players always get frustrated when they’re not playing for whatever reason. Chris had several offers in the close season but we’re all delighted that he decided to stay at FC United and I think he’s made the right choice.”

Karl added: “It’s a nightmare getting everyone together for the team photo and several people weren’t able to be there, but there’s nothing sinister about anyone who’s missing.”

So this is a one-off rumour squashing news item, otherwise we’ll never get anything else done.

Or does he?
September 20, 2008, 8:31 pm
Filed under: Transfer tittle-tattle | Tags:

Reports are suggesting that Chris Baguley isn’t off to Leigh, or anyone else, after all. In an interview with that’s due to go online tomorrow, Margy is said to explain exactly what is going on.

And the thoroughly whet your appetite, here’s a clip of a Baguley special, against (I think) Wakefield.

Chris Baguley Leaves
September 20, 2008, 1:57 pm
Filed under: Transfer tittle-tattle | Tags:

Chris Baguley has left FC United and joined Leigh Genesis.