Brighton and Hove Albion supporting, punk poet Attila the Stockbroker left the following message on the forum this morning, causing a degree of excitement at I’ll Be Off towers that’s possibly not warranted:
2 gigs in the NW meant that last Saturday I cleverly avoided our home defeat to nine man Walsall (!) and finally made a long anticipated first visit to FC. Really impressed, everything I thought it would be and more. Fantastic atmosphere, brilliant banners, and the best bit of all was the song sung to the tune of ‘Anarchy in the UK’ (I’m DJ/stadium announcer at Brighton and during our darkest days in exile at Gillingham was officially banned from playing that by the Kent Constabulary….I put the Clash on instead) Couldn’t work out the words though!
Well done everyone involved in your brave, inspirational initiative. I’m sure you all know our history – we Brighton fans know exactly what it is to fight for the existence of our club after our ground was stolen from us by greedy moneymen, and you have loads of friends down here. You truly are what I’d love us to be – the English St Pauli, and that’s high praise indeed! If you ever want some loud rude leftie ranting poetry and songs at one of your fund raisers, you’re on….
I was going to post a message this week anyway, but I’m sure you know what’s coming next, and I’m sure you think it’s even funnier than we do! We stuffed the ‘richest club in the world’ fair and square last night (to the pre match strains of ‘Money Money Money’ ‘Hippy Hippy Sheikh’ ‘Take the Money and Run’ and ‘Rock the Casbah’) and it just goes to prove that all the money in the world can’t stop football still being the wonderful, unpredictable game we love. Some City fans were moaning they left out Robinho and some of the other ‘stars’. Well, our top scorer Nicky Forster was out as well. Stop whinging!!! A victory for real football. Just like FC United. Hope we get to play each other one day….and all the best.
PROFITEERS OUT OF FOOTBALL – IT’S OUR GAME NOT THEIRS!
If I needed an excuse to post one of his poems, I suppose this is it. ‘A Symptom Of Modern Society’ was inspired by cretinous former York City chairman John Batchelor who claimed that the demonstrations from angry York fans was “a symptom of modern society”.
A SYMPTOM OF MODERN SOCIETY….
It’s a symptom of modern society.
When our team’s getting stuffed, we complain!
When our history’s sold for developers’ gold
We protest again and again!When we’re told we’re ‘half-wits’ who ‘make trouble
We get angry and filled with suspicion.
‘Cos behind talk like that there’s quite often a rat
Abusing a hallowed position….We’re no longer just dumb cannon fodder.
We’re the fans, it’s our club, and we care.
We want participation, not patronisation!
Let us in – we’ll do more than our share.Please don’t tell us to ‘mind our own business’.
It’s our ‘business’ as much as it’s yours!
We’ve been there since the start, we’re the lifeblood, the heart.
Ever played a match behind closed doors?It’s a symptom of modern society.
We supporters have got off our knees!
It’s a symptom we’re going to encourage –
Until it becomes a disease!
You can read more of his poetry on his official website, http://www.attilathestockbroker.com
Four nil, then, and two more for Kyle Wilson, who continues to ease the pain of losing Rudd and Patterson by being consistently excellent and prodigiously prolific – he’s the league’s top scorer with ten goals. Carlos Roca finally opened his account, and with the defense looking far more stable since the introductions of Garner and Warrender, there are those suggesting in hushed tones that maybe, just maybe, a corner has been turned.
We’re sitting neatly in midtable, just three points behind BobBlackburn Park Avenue. All that money and only three points difference? Bob will be having spasms if that’s the state of affairs come the end of the season.
9th league-game – season 2008/2009:
Ossett Town (18.) -v- FC United (17.)
(The Unibond League Premier Division)
Tuesday 23rd September 2008 at 19:45
Ingfield, Prospect Road, Ossett, W Yorkshire, WF5 9HA
——————————
Stats:
The last 3 games
Ossett Town:
2:1W Nantwich Town
0:1L North Ferriby United
1:1D Witton Albion
9 games – 2W; 2D; 5L; -6GD; 8Pts
top scorer: A.Savory, T.Greaves – 3 goals
FC United:
0:0D Worksop Town
3:4L Prescot Cables
0:2L Bradford Park Avenue
8 games – 2W; 2D; 4L; -2GD; 8Pts
top scorer: K.Wilson – 8 goals
West Ham fans never forgave Paul Ince for posing in a Manchester United shirt while still a Hammer. I never forgave Paul Ince for the way he celebrated his equaliser for Liverpool against Manchester United in May 1999. Others will never forgive Paul Ince for taking Winkleman’s shilling and managing Franchise. Whatever. We’re all in agreement that he’s a bit of a twat.
But Bradley Howard, seemingly unfazed by the arrival of new left back Simon Garner, has gone out and had his pics snapped not just in a Chelsea shirt, but also a Chelsea hoody and a Chelsea tracksuit top.
Eagle-eyed reds at Stamford Bridge spotted our Brad modelling the latest Chelsea leisure wear in Sunday’s Chelsea v Manchester United programme. Which is odd, as Matty Taylor, who has left the club six or seven times since the shirt was released, is still modelling ours over on the mega-stall site.
Once again at It’ll Be Off we pump furiously at the organ of truth, until nothing but fact is ejaculated on to your screen. From the official site:
To set the record straight, Chris Baguley has not gone anywhere.
Well, to be slightly more accurate he did go somewhere, because knowing he was suspended for the Nantwich Town FA Cup replay game last Wednesday, he took a last minute holiday abroad last week.
He had the good grace to come in on Saturday to apologise to Karl Marginson for missing training, but wasn’t available in time for the team photo, which seems to have sent the rumour mill into overdrive. Chris has assured the manager that he wants to stay and regain his place in the team.
Karl said: “Players always get frustrated when they’re not playing for whatever reason. Chris had several offers in the close season but we’re all delighted that he decided to stay at FC United and I think he’s made the right choice.”
Karl added: “It’s a nightmare getting everyone together for the team photo and several people weren’t able to be there, but there’s nothing sinister about anyone who’s missing.”
So this is a one-off rumour squashing news item, otherwise we’ll never get anything else done.
Reports are suggesting that Chris Baguley isn’t off to Leigh, or anyone else, after all. In an interview with FCUM.tv that’s due to go online tomorrow, Margy is said to explain exactly what is going on.
And the thoroughly whet your appetite, here’s a clip of a Baguley special, against (I think) Wakefield.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Add new tag, Amputees, Boston United, Oli Ryan, Vote rigging
Ive warmed greatly to Boston United over the past few months. Having spent some of my youth in Lincolnshire, I had only ever previously seen Bostonians as hideously malformed, violent, freaks in pastel coloured Ben Sherman shirts, but since the advent of ‘the internet’ and Boston’s multiple relegation in to what they refer to as the ‘tin-pot snooker league’ I realise now that they aren’t at all violent.
Here at It’ll Be Off we extended the crooked claw of friendship to the quite wonderful IMPStalk fanzine, in the hope that one day I could rip off all their content and claim it as my own. And sure enough, that day came soon after the Pilgrims turned up to Gigg Lane and stole our three points. But let’s not dwell on that. Instead let’s concentrate on the marvellous match report Pete Brooksbank wrote for is, as well as the hilarious NPL Rough Guides that provided us all with literally minutes of entertainment.
Anyway, I recently received an email from one of the Boston lot asking for my help. After their striker Oli Ryan scored a hat-trick against the might of Glapwell in the FA Cup, he was nominated for E.ON Player of the Round. His prize, I’m informed, is a trip to the FA Cup final, and seeing as Boston aren’t expected to get past the semis, it would be a rare treat to send him to Wembley, so he can get buy an £8.50 meal deal, and get stuck outside the tube station for two hours after the game.
Unfortunately some Dartford fans aren’t entering in to the spirit of things. Their seventeen year old goalkeeper was also nominated for the award, despite conceding two goals. Some clever web hackers have worked out a way to cast multiple votes, and consequently, this fella is in the lead. This is bad for two reasons. Firstly, we can’t abide cheating. Secondly, he conceded two goals, and therefore didn’t perform as well as Oli Ryan (I don;t care how many goals he prevented, that isn’t the point).
Even ignoring the footballing aspect of all this, a victory for Dartford is a victory for nothingness. Dartford’s most famous claim to fame is a tunnel. A tunnel, I ask you. Why reward nothingness when Boston is the home of The Boston Stump – Britain’s most famous amputee, Cheers, and is widely reknowned as The Gateway to Skegness, where you can thank long shore drift beach erosion for the world’s longest beach, currently measuring over 6.3 miles from promenade to sea.
So please, do Oli Ryan, the Boston fans, and hell, myself a favour. Click on this link, and vote for their man.
Thanks for your time.
8th league-game – season 2008/2009:
FC United -v- Worksop Town
(The Unibond League Premier Division)
Saturday 20th September 2008 at 15:00
Gigg Lane, Bury, BL9 9HR
——————————
Stats:
The Worksop game could be the 100th league game for Captain Dave Chadwick
The last 3 games
FCUM
3:4L Prescot
0:2L BPA
3:1W Whitby
Worksop
2:6L Marine
1:1D Eastwood
0:4L Nantwich
Before last night’s supporters’ association meeting at Moss Lane, there was a short presentation from three representatives of FC United of Manchester. FCUM directors John Manning and Mike Turton, along with general manager Andy Walsh, came along to try and improve the less than perfect relations between supporters of our two clubs. Relations had been soured by an incident at an FCUM match at Moss Lane a couple of years ago when a rogue FCUM supporter had assaulted a young Alty fan. Then, this summer, FCUM had been blamed by some Alty fans for trouble at a friendly at Moss Lane against Manchester United. In fact, this summer’s trouble seems to have been caused by errant MUFC fans rather than FCUM supporters.
The three guests explained their club’s philosophy and also related how the man who had caused the trouble at Moss Lane two years ago was now a reformed character who helped the FCUM club voluntarily. The man in question had also introduced himself to the Alty Security officer Darren Gregory at this summer’s game and Darren agreed that the man was now a reformed character.
Questions from the floor covered other areas including the FCUM attitude to televised games and the shifting of kick-off times. The FCUM reps also explained that they were looking at a couple of possible new grounds in both Salford and Manchester as potential homes for their club, whose arrangement to play home games at Bury FC terminates at the end of this season.
The reps also offered the benefit of any of their experience as fundraisers to our club. The three visitors were given a generous round of applause and their attempts to build bridges with our club were much appreciated.
I’ve refound my faith in the human race. Come one, come all for a hug and a kiss.
It'll Be Off 